I survived Day 1

Today is November 18, 2012. 

It's 5:39 in the morning. I'm awake. I can't go back to sleep.

My father passed away yesterday. 

I didn't know how I survived last night. Closing my eyes to sleep was the hardest part. I can't stop my eyelids from closing yet my mind won't allow it to shut. I can feel my body shaking every time I'm about to pass out. 

It was difficult.

Crying was never enough. I surpassed the crying part. Now I want to feel some pain. I want to get away from this numbness all over me. 

Today I have a lot of errands to do. Thinking clear and straight is a must. 

Tonight, facing my father's remains will be another battle. Sleeping is again a tough fight.

I survived Day 1....

I can do this.