the day i flew and slammed.

February 27, 1996. The day i thought would be my last day on earth. 

I was 17 years old, and the man whose picture appears below, was 16 years old. He was driving his father's car WITHOUT a driver's license, with his four friends with him inside the car. Recklessly smashed the trike i'm riding. i was seated behind and the impact of his father's car was in my side of seat.

Maybe you are wondering why am i writing about this, why am i posting his picture. three things:  

first, i am writing about this because after the accident, while suffering from trauma and  severe fear riding a trike again, i told myself that this city is so small, one day i will meet this asshole, although i don't exactly remember what my plan was after meeting him, but if my memory is right, i thought of slapping the guy. and guess what, last january i met this guy....and i did not slap him. he said 'sorry'..and i answered, 'okay lg'..and i turned around..walked away from him and his wife..yeah, i did. i walked away and never looked back.

second, i am about to enroll in driving school and i am scared as hell.

third, mr. no license, i wanted to share that you gave me a lot you know that?

1. every time i hear a tire screeechh my heart would stop beating and i feel like exploding...

2. riding a fast vehicle would give me cold, clammy hands...

3. every now and then i have nightmares of accidents and me slamming into a car...

4. after the accident, six months of no-trike...imagine the taxi fares..or my brother would fetch me..

5. my disfigured lower lip after the stitches inside and outside..

6. the back of my two legs were a bit hollow because of the palm-sized hematoma that never brought back the shape of my flawless legs..

but despite the negative stuff, your recklessness gave me things i never expected i would have...

a. i found myself in the schoolpaper after the accident and i graduated with a journalism award.

b. a waist i've been aiming for..after15 dextrose, and no food for two weeks i think, since i cannot open my mouth and eat...hah! instant waist!

c. the accident was my life's turning point. it gave me direction. at first i wanted to be a lawyer so that i can get back to you. but no, i didn't became a lawyer. but i became a well-rounded person who understood perfectly how people like you ended up irresponsible and reckless.

but with all honesty, you are forgiven already. i did many years ago, the wound in my heart just healed, my mind in some way forgot the date (because i've been sulking and staying inside the house every time feb. 27 comes)...

I never saw the day that what i thought would be my last day on earth is going to be just  an ordinary day. 

It's not what happened that day that matters now, it's what that day taught and made me as a person matters to me now.

Goodnight!